Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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