whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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