dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
