There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
