...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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