You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
