In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
