thus making me awesome and them whores
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
