why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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