hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
