how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
