I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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