Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
