Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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