More tranny stories later!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
