Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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