My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
