So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
