I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
