last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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