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Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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