ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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