do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
