Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
