I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
