what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
