Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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