i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
