when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
