Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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