you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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