shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize