Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
vagina is talking i cant
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
