All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
