accomplished twins. life is a go
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
