I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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