I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
