i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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