I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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