This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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