I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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