she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
