Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
