I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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