im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
