I hate your face
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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