Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Houston, we have a blender
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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