but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
