I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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