I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
