she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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