she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
don't judge my taste in strippers
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
