Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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