you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
