i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
