Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
