did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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