Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
