i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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