Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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