She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
