He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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